An Off Day.
It was an off day, it must have been! or else how to explain it?
I was at a restaurant and asked the name of a specific dish and described it to the person behind the counter. Here is how the answer to my question played out…
Employee: “Yes, yes I know, please go and sit down, I shall bring it to you.”
5 minutes later I received some food.
Me: “I’m sorry, I thought I was getting the one with…” I proceeded to describe my request a second time.
Employee: “Oh, yes. Okay, I will get it for you.”
10 minutes passed and still I sat waiting for my food. Finally, I motioned the server over.
Me: “I’m sorry, I think you forgot my order.”
Employee: “It did not come?”
Me: “No! not as yet.”
Employee: “Ok, I will get it right away.”
5 minutes later the server came by with a new plate of food.
Employee: “There you go sir.”
Me: “Thank you.”
I looked at my plate of food and realized that it was the wrong item again but I was too hungry to wait.
The moral of this story is that no matter how I explained myself, I was unable to convey what I wanted, even though the staff member continued to agree with me. Hence the fundamental importance of listening as the key to understanding the position, needs and wants of those you deal with on a daily basis.
The art of listening is perhaps one of the most difficult challenges we face as individuals. It requires discipline and the ability to quiet the mind while being present and absorbing the message that is being stated. As reference, the next time someone is speaking with you, stop for a second and assess if you are truly listening to their message in its entirety. Are you preparing your response ahead of time or worse still, you are tuned out?
As the expression states: you were created with one mouth and two ears, use them proportionately.
Happy Valentines Day!
Today, unlike many days, people in most areas of the globe choose to convey their appreciation and love by various means…dinner, chocolates, flowers etc. However, it is more important to ask why just today? why not yesterday, tomorrow or everyday? How
happy would I be if Valentines was for me each and everyday? Love is the most powerful antidote for all of life’s ailments. Allow yourself to feel all that you are feeling today, everyday. Understand, learn, heed the steps you took because they reverberate with absolute power and energy of love.
Struggles of the Modern Family
I am regularly confronted with women that are worried about the lack of their spouse’s presence in every aspect of their lives together. Oddly enough, they all married men who they say, were at one point attentive to their needs and those of the family. Men who supported, cared and strived to be the providers of the family.
So what happened? Why did they stop? When did the happiness of the household take a back seat to perceived personal happiness? The reason this personal happiness is “perceived” because it’s very difficult to be happy while living in a miserable, angry and unproductive environment, unless of course you have the mental strength of the Dalai Lama.
Please keep in mind that we are only speaking about the specific individuals and not men in general. These are men that begin to fray at work and relinquish responsibility to their spouse or partner. They may even begin to drink in excess or possibly engage in dangerous
behavior. At first it’s subtle, and by the time you recognize it for what it is, the behaviour has morphed into a habit. When the man no longer looks at you and refuses to have a dialogue, fatigue may not be the culprit.
Most men are driven by the need to feel significant. This is the tool by which their behaviour is dictated, even if they state otherwise. Thus, the spouse’s ability to read and understand this can lead to a change in his behaviour to accomplish greater needs without falling into the trap of wanting to feel significant. More often if he is at home, yet not present, he is exercising his level of significance by establishing control and the ability to not provide emotional support.
Some men, like young boys, need direction and accolades for taking action. With that in mind they will once again pick up the slack
Edward February 2013
Daily quote I read
I wish to toast, to the words that linger in my mind but are not expressed in speech, for the love that is in my heart yet frightened to reveal itself, and to life, its happiness is always there, but seldom recognized.
Best to study the story of Cyrano, If love can only be spoken from the lips of a model, then love is lost for all who walk the earth. If love is heard, then its messenger can only be a model.
A short video in three languages, illustrating how one may use one of the two previously mentioned tactics to defuse an argument.